Well.  I'm at college now.  So write to me. 

Kathleen Jennings

Student Box 2559

Whitworth College

300 W Hawthorne Rd.

Spokane Wa 99251

You know that point when you realize you have to let go and stop trying so hard?

I've just reached it.

Que sera, sera - What will be, will be.

It's hard for me to remember that, even though they're your best friends, no, they will not always be considerate of your feelings.  You get over it.  I'm over it.

I've had writer's block for at least 8 months now.  I think it's killing me.

Currently Listening Oh, Inverted World By The Shins see related

It's odd to fall in love with the idea of something, but here I find myself with it inside my head, running over and over, a little bit different each time.  I suppose the most I can say is that my entire body aches for the beach right now.  Summer is slipping too quickly away, and I'm feeling pressed for time, a sort of frenzied rush to the good parts.  But then, it is only 9 July.  I have to remember to take things slow.  I get so excited about things and I let myself build up to them, and then when it doesn't happen, I'm just crushed. 

I don't know what I'm talking about right now.  What's in my head and what's in my fingers are two different things.

I know what I don't want, though:  I don't want this time to just be like all the others where I fall again after pushing it to the back of my mind throughout the year.  That's what happens, you know.  We leave, and September starts, and I make myself move on.  But then along comes July, and if I see him, my heart starts all over again.  This is the fourth summer in a row.  Holy cow.

I need to go to bed.  Work camp is in approximately...four hours.  Here's a good 7 days worth of mind-numbing (in a good way) physical labor to keep my brain occupied.  Because right now it won't stop racing.

I don't want to go to school.

Because that means we'll do the show, and then it will be over.

And I'll cry.

Crap.

Shoot.

Dang it.